How to Stop Making the Same Mistakes Over and Over Again

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It'southward piece of cake to get frustrated and self-critical when you repeat mistakes. You might recall you're the only ane who does this, but y'all're not. Each person's specific patterns might differ, but we can all relate to the general concept. The tips in this post apply to a wide range of these types of recurrent mistakes, including:

• Overeating
• Ignoring your instinct to say no or speak up (and then regretting information technology)
• Prioritizing the wrong things
• Ownership things you don't need, considering they're on sale
• Getting irritated with your kids, because you're stressed out about piece of work

Note: To identify your cocky-sabotaging habits, check out this list of 30 types. Once you lot know what you desire to work on, consider these points.

1. Vowing to never make a particular mistake again is the wrong approach.

After yous stuff yourself at Thanksgiving, yous say "I'm non going to do that over again. I feel terrible. Information technology wasn't worth it." Notwithstanding, next yr rolls effectually, and when y'all start notice you're overeating again, yous completely give upwardly and go back for ii more slices of pie. Sound familiar?

Paradoxically, to change recurrent patterns, information technology's often best to assume yous volition make the aforementioned mistake again. When you do this, you can change your focus to developing applied strategies that volition assistance you make less astringent mistakes, less oftentimes. This tends to exist a more successful arroyo overall.

2. Develop strategies for prevention.

Lets say you know you end upward overeating when you've become overly hungry. What strategies do yous need to put in place to prevent becoming then ravenous you lot scarf four staff of life rolls that are hanging around in your suspension room at work?

Permit's take a deep swoop into how you might solve this problem. Perhaps you know you should stop for lunch at 1 p.m., merely you lot often end upwards non stopping until ane:30 or fifty-fifty 2 p.yard. Y'all recognize that if y'all start new activities in the 30 minutes before you plan to take your lunch, it increases the chances you'll get distracted and not get to lunch on time. Therefore, you need to program activities for the 12:30-1 p.m. flow each day that won't run over time and cause the trouble of going to lunch late. If you accept some control over your schedule, what would be the types of work that would be predictable, not prone to running over time, and well-suited to your energy levels at that time of the day?

Hopefully you can meet from this example how personalized your strategies need to be. You need to take a problem-solving arroyo that'southward tailored to your exact circumstances, one that's actually doable rather than aspirational. Your strategies should feel like a reflection of yourself and be things you lot'll want to exercise, rather than seeming unappealing.

three. Put aside time and mental energy.

I know the example strategy I've given above seems elementary, only this is deceptive. Improving your patterns doesn't only happen. Success requires all of the following: thinking about what strategies yous could utilize, making a determination nigh what to endeavor, implementing your ideas, and, oft, troubleshooting aspects of your strategies that aren't working.

All of that requires mental free energy. Information technology isn't the type of affair you'll simply do while you're on the run at work, or yous'll squeeze into your day at ten p.m. when you're tired, tapped out, and yous'd ordinarily be clicking around the internet.

The reality of life is that nosotros don't always have the time or mental space available to mindfully address cocky-sabotaging habits. That's normal, but until you have that energy available, you probably won't do anything to turn around your patterns. What times during your day/week do you have plenty cognitive free energy bachelor for self-strategizing?

4. Develop strategies for impairment minimization.

Even the best prevention strategies are likely to fail at least occasionally. Therefore, you need a plan for what's known as harm minimization. This is the same principle that's behind the idea that it's better for drug addicts to use clean needles than dirty ones.

Let's call back dorsum to the trouble of binging when overly hungry. Perhaps your strategy for when this happens might be to start your lunch by eating some fruit, salad, or something else where information technology's hard to quickly stuff yourself with a large amount of calories.

Harm minimization is nearly having a safe internet, and who wouldn't want to arrange that for themselves?

Consider making backup plans for when you lot've forgotten something. For case, I keep $20 in the glove compartment of my car in example I forget my purse or go defenseless out by a store that's "cash only."

v. Understand your "Seemingly Irrelevant Decisions."

A concept I encompass in my volume, The Healthy Mind Toolkit, is what'southward known every bit "Seemingly Irrelevant Decisions." I'll give a quick overview of this concept here. Seemingly Irrelevant Decisions are decisions that set you down the path towards a self-regulation failure, even though the decisions seem relatively innocuous. For instance, yous're currently cutting dorsum on overeating. You plan to host a party, and although you don't intend to overindulge at your outcome, you realistically know from past experience that whenever you lot host a gathering, it ever results in overeating leftover food. Or you lot sign your child up for a class that'southward across boondocks on the busiest day of your workweek, knowing that if you take to boxing traffic at the end of a long day, yous're likely to be very cranky and irritable. If you brand a Seemingly Irrelevant Decision and and so later realize it was cocky-sabotaging, y'all need to be prepared to walk dorsum that conclusion or put boosted practical strategies in place. Don't think yous tin just rely on your willpower to not repeat mistakes.

Summing Up

If you lot focus on completely eliminating all mistakes from your life, this will feel incredibly overwhelming. If you instead aim to better, there are lots of practical solutions yous can try, and y'all'll likely experience much more success. Addressing your patterns can even be enjoyable if you take a not-judgmental, problem-solving approach.

Note that I intend this post to employ to ordinary mistakes, and not things like committing crimes!

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Source: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-practice/201809/5-tips-how-stop-repeating-the-same-mistakes

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